LIPAttention aspiring ski professionals. Sick of beating yourself stupid trying to get that Switch-lip 450 on? Tired of mommy nagging you about that nebulous “marketing” degree she paid for? Well, stop trying to be the next T.J. Schiller and open your eyes to the latest and greatest ski career: agent.

Yes, that’s right. With no real-world business experience but infinite knowledge of the latest web-forum topics—plus an ability to talk your way into the friends-and-family corral at X Games (your friend really is a pro)—you’re on your way to a new but fulfilling future in skiing. Without ever having to strap on those pesky boards again.

It used to be that washed-up or never-quite-was skiers were relegated to photographing, filming and writing about the exploits of current superstars, producing content by way of giving back to the sport. That or repping hard or softgoods. No more. Nowadays, the hawish folks hanging around contest venues with that sharp, useless look about them are as likely to introduce themselves as “agents” as they are the usual sycophants (including reps).

Most should preface this selflabeling exercise with “aspiring” but what the hell—there’s no shortage of them spending someone else’s money to travel the comp circuit in search of talent. Sure, your early client list might consist of two unknown buddies and that sketchy guy you met in the lift line, but you’ve gotta start somewhere. Besides, energy drink companies have more money than they know what to do with and you might as well get yourself that Escalade everyone else is buying, right?

So stop worrying about injuries and kick that ramen diet. Soon you’ll be living the high life, sipping bubbly in a heli while scouting lines in AK. What’s that? Not sure how to take your 10 per cent cut off a hoodie? Don’t worry smart guy, you’ll figure it out. Besides, you’ve got time on your hands now.

– Chris O’Connell, editor 

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